Just let us know who gets credit for these clever lines by way of email, and
you could be the lucky winner of a $50 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble!
Send your correct answers to…email@example.com
And be quick about—the cutoff date for all entries is Wednesday,
1. "Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything
with exact duplicates. When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I
Who said it... Steve Martin, Steven Wright or Tim Allen?
2. "If you are not fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with
Who said it... George Patton, Abraham Lincoln or Vince
3. "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice.
Then he made school boards."
Who said it... Will Rogers, Steve Allen or Mark Twain?
4. Who sent the following telegram to Time Magazine: "As
usual, your information stinks."
Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra or Harry Truman?
5. "There are worst things in life than death. Have you ever spent
an evening with an insurance salesman?"
Who gets the credit... George Gobel, Johnny Carson
or Woody Allen?